Thursday, January 27, 2005
A great day for the postal service
Not only did I get an acceptance letter from the University of Oxford today, but I also received a movie I've been waiting a while for: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.
This little package of blasphemous fun has everything you'd need: shaolin Jesus, vampire lesbians, and a huge Mexican wrestler named El Santo!
And to top it all off, the best theme song ever written
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
HOLY CRAP
I GOT INTO OXFORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAGAGAAGHAGHAGHGAHGHAGHAGHGAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAGHGAHGAGHAGHAGHAGHGAHGAHGHAGAHGHA!
WAGAGAAGHAGHAGHGAHGHAGHAGHGAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAGHGAHGAGHAGHAGHAGHGAHGAHGHAGAHGHA!
Sunday, January 23, 2005
The Mark of the Beast
Some of my more religious friends may recall these passages from Revelations, chapter 16:
16:2
And the first went, and poured out his vial upon the earth; and there fell a noisome and grievous sore upon the men which had the mark of the beast, and upon them which worshipped his image.
16:3
And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea.
16:4
And the third angel poured out his vial upon the rivers and fountains of waters; and they became blood.
16:5
And the fourth angel inspired an egomaniac to direct his take on a classic story known as "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Yes, as if Tim Burton hadn't already convinced us to hate his take on classic stories with his raping of Sleepy Hollow and defiling of Planet of the Apes, he has now decided to take his imagination and warp what is already one of the greatest movies and books of all time: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
If you haven't seen the original, I encourage you to do so, and make sure your future children only see the original. If you have seen the original, and are prepared to be disturbed, here is the preview of the new version.
I will admit that Tim Burton has made some great movies, such as the first two entries in the Batman Series, Beetle Juice, and Edward Scissorhands (The Nightmare before Christmas was written and produced by Burton, but not directed). Big Fish was OK, but not fantastic.
Burton can keep on track if he sticks to interesting and original ideas, like in Big Fish, or his up and coming attempt and recreating the atmosphere of "Nightmare" with Corpse Bride
Burton also has fallen into "the actor trap," where he cannot get beyond using one or two actors he really likes. Occasionally this works, but more often than not, it results in so-so movies just because the director isn't bold enough to use new actors. "Corpse Bride" will be Burton's 4th collaboration with Johnny Depp and 4th with Helen Bonn Carter.
Another example of an over-use of actors include M. Night Shyamalan man-crush on Bruce Willis and Joaquin Phoenix.
16:2
And the first went, and poured out his vial upon the earth; and there fell a noisome and grievous sore upon the men which had the mark of the beast, and upon them which worshipped his image.
16:3
And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea.
16:4
And the third angel poured out his vial upon the rivers and fountains of waters; and they became blood.
16:5
And the fourth angel inspired an egomaniac to direct his take on a classic story known as "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Yes, as if Tim Burton hadn't already convinced us to hate his take on classic stories with his raping of Sleepy Hollow and defiling of Planet of the Apes, he has now decided to take his imagination and warp what is already one of the greatest movies and books of all time: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
If you haven't seen the original, I encourage you to do so, and make sure your future children only see the original. If you have seen the original, and are prepared to be disturbed, here is the preview of the new version.
I will admit that Tim Burton has made some great movies, such as the first two entries in the Batman Series, Beetle Juice, and Edward Scissorhands (The Nightmare before Christmas was written and produced by Burton, but not directed). Big Fish was OK, but not fantastic.
Burton can keep on track if he sticks to interesting and original ideas, like in Big Fish, or his up and coming attempt and recreating the atmosphere of "Nightmare" with Corpse Bride
Burton also has fallen into "the actor trap," where he cannot get beyond using one or two actors he really likes. Occasionally this works, but more often than not, it results in so-so movies just because the director isn't bold enough to use new actors. "Corpse Bride" will be Burton's 4th collaboration with Johnny Depp and 4th with Helen Bonn Carter.
Another example of an over-use of actors include M. Night Shyamalan man-crush on Bruce Willis and Joaquin Phoenix.
