I'm Climbing Up Those Walls Again

Thought that the end of the year warrants supplying everyone with a couple songs I think everyone should have. I'll leave each one up for only a day or two, so download it now (right click on the link and go to 'save as').

The first is "Tyler" by the Toadies (download here), a song that has always fascinated me. On its surface it's a poppish love song. Lead singer Todd Lewis's voice seems content with this fairy tale that begins in the first half:

And she runs through her days with a smile on her face
And she runs, and she waits, and I wait

We can drive to anyplace, day or night, across the state
And in the morning, into Mexico, we will wake up

He pauses for a while, and lets the music catch up and begin to build. The main riff re-assures us that everything will be ok, but then Todd Lewis screams:

I find a window in the kitchen, and I let myself in
Rummage through the refrigerator, find myself a beer
I can't believe I'm really here, and she's lying in that bed
I can almost feel her touch, and her anxious breath!

I stumble in the hallway, against the bedroom door
I hear her call out to me, I hear the fear in her voice
She pulls the covers tighter, I press against the door

I will be with her tonight!

This makes from an awesome song, however the first time I listened to it, Lewis's lyrics weren't very clear. You get the idea that he's going to be with the one that he loves, and everyone is content with that ending.

But listen again and read the lyrics:

He's breaking in, and the first thing he goes for is a beer. He's probably drunk. As he moves towards her room, he hears her call out in fear and that she pulls her covers tighter. She is obviously not going to be his willing partner.

The first half of the song must be fantasy, and the second half must be fantasy slamming head on into reality. The man entering the house is convinced that this woman loves him, and they are going to escape together (or he is going to kidnap her). If the song really does deal with rape, then it is through the mind of a sick person, unlike the evil we see in songs like "Sex Type Thing" where the character is just looking to rape someone.

With a little bit of research (although I have yet to find a solid news article), I've found that this is exactly what the song was about. Apparently, in the early 90s, Tyler, Texas had a huge problem with a serial rapist who kidnapped women.

Still, it's a beautiful and chilling song, and one worthy of contemplation.

There isn't much to say about Half-life 2, except that it fully lives up to expectations on every level. If you haven't played it yet, then I suggest you go out and get a copy right now. It'll play on your machine, trust me, it plays better than anyone would have figured.

Rather than do a standard review, which you can find anywhere, I'll just note that, despite its very alien and sci-fi oriented setting, HL2 feels like a very human game. The screenshots don't do the character's the emotional justice they deserve... the facial animation is just brilliant.

And then there is Gordon Freeman himself... or should I say yourself? You are Gordon, and this is your story. It's really up to you to save mankind again. Go play it.


These were all taken as I played through the game:

Somehow I slept past my alarm this morning. Despite the face that I often wake up seconds before my alarm actually sounds, I even managed to shield myself from Matt knocking on my door. When I realized that I had missed a class, something that is taboo for me, upon the release of several expletives I wrenched out my desk drawer, turned it upside-down, letting all the contents spill on the floor, then slammed it to the ground in my fury.

Perhaps this is the inevitable result of my having to get up at 5:30 for an hour to call Oxford University and have a problem with my application corrected, or maybe it is a symbol of the pressure that continues to weigh me down.

After I recovered from my fit, and realized I needed to at least get ready for my next class, I made me way into the bathroom, and happened to catch myself in the mirror for a moment or two. God, this semester has changed me in subtle, but significant ways. The result of two years of running has gone down the drain, as my waist has begun to lose its definition. My arms that were never that big, even after some moderate working out, seem to have lost all their mass again. The lack of exercise and bad eating habits that this semester seems to be pushing me towards has caused my body to begin to regress to its Freshman-year state. It may not be noticeable to anyone else but me, but isn't that all that counts?

My eyes are the worst; during a time where I need to try and hold onto as much optimism, they display little hope for the future.

I know I'll recover next semester, when I'll have little coursework to handle and a lot of leisure to back me up.....but that does little to comfort me now, when the going is still tough and I keep forgetting I'm tough enough to keep going.