Monday, November 29, 2004
Such is life
Somehow I slept past my alarm this morning. Despite the face that I often wake up seconds before my alarm actually sounds, I even managed to shield myself from Matt knocking on my door. When I realized that I had missed a class, something that is taboo for me, upon the release of several expletives I wrenched out my desk drawer, turned it upside-down, letting all the contents spill on the floor, then slammed it to the ground in my fury.
Perhaps this is the inevitable result of my having to get up at 5:30 for an hour to call Oxford University and have a problem with my application corrected, or maybe it is a symbol of the pressure that continues to weigh me down.
After I recovered from my fit, and realized I needed to at least get ready for my next class, I made me way into the bathroom, and happened to catch myself in the mirror for a moment or two. God, this semester has changed me in subtle, but significant ways. The result of two years of running has gone down the drain, as my waist has begun to lose its definition. My arms that were never that big, even after some moderate working out, seem to have lost all their mass again. The lack of exercise and bad eating habits that this semester seems to be pushing me towards has caused my body to begin to regress to its Freshman-year state. It may not be noticeable to anyone else but me, but isn't that all that counts?
My eyes are the worst; during a time where I need to try and hold onto as much optimism, they display little hope for the future.
I know I'll recover next semester, when I'll have little coursework to handle and a lot of leisure to back me up.....but that does little to comfort me now, when the going is still tough and I keep forgetting I'm tough enough to keep going.
Perhaps this is the inevitable result of my having to get up at 5:30 for an hour to call Oxford University and have a problem with my application corrected, or maybe it is a symbol of the pressure that continues to weigh me down.
After I recovered from my fit, and realized I needed to at least get ready for my next class, I made me way into the bathroom, and happened to catch myself in the mirror for a moment or two. God, this semester has changed me in subtle, but significant ways. The result of two years of running has gone down the drain, as my waist has begun to lose its definition. My arms that were never that big, even after some moderate working out, seem to have lost all their mass again. The lack of exercise and bad eating habits that this semester seems to be pushing me towards has caused my body to begin to regress to its Freshman-year state. It may not be noticeable to anyone else but me, but isn't that all that counts?
My eyes are the worst; during a time where I need to try and hold onto as much optimism, they display little hope for the future.
I know I'll recover next semester, when I'll have little coursework to handle and a lot of leisure to back me up.....but that does little to comfort me now, when the going is still tough and I keep forgetting I'm tough enough to keep going.
