I'm Climbing Up Those Walls Again

and have had that fact confirmed once or twice recently. The reason I bring this up is because what I'm about to say could be taken as an expression of this character flaw, but I beg you to keep an open mind.

I have an identity problem that most people understandably couldn't comprehend. Being both British and American by birth isn't necessarily very confusing, but being brought up by a mother who maintains your Britishness whilst living in Myrtle Beach is enough to drive a person insane. I've never been quite convinced of my surroundings... always feeling a bit like a foreigner. However, when I'm in either country, I will tend to take on the general feel of that country, while a feel, small portions of my personality linked to the other intensify.

I've been in England for about a month now. I work very hard at not standing out in a crowd (which I can manage to do, even after opening my mouth, as long as I don't say more than a few words). I only walk around London so I can learn routes easily, so I don't have to bring a map. Pulling a map out is like shouting "tourist!!!"

As I blend in more and more, I begin to become alienated from the sound of an American voice more and more. I found I've grown impatient with the Americans I run into, mostly because I find them loud, obnoxious, and too obvious. Because I'm afraid I'm probably pushing you all away right now, I'd like to remind you all that, as my friends, you aren't the sort of Americans I'm talking about. In fact, only when I'm with you lot, I tend to be one of the loudest of the group... impossible to shut up in many cases. That disappears quickly once you take me out of my friendly group environment.

I am struggling to determine whether or not my dislike of the "loud obvious American tourist" is justified or not? They certainly are making an effort to see a different country, I'll give them that, but are they doing it the right way?

I think that the longer I'm over here, the more I see things more and more as a native Brit would, so maybe I'll offer some tips to penetrating an (English speaking) foreign culture when you first come into contact with it.

1. Don't talk about things at home loudly in public. I know what Billy said to you the other day sounded really funny, but it just makes you look like you're mind can't separate from it and focus on your surroundings. Nothing makes someone look more superficial when they are staring at Big-fucking-Ben and they start yapping about their Sorority.

2. Stay away from anything you recognize as American. That's right, stay out of McDonald's, Burger King, Starbucks, and Subway. You can have all that when you go home... right now you're hear to experience a culture.

3. Listen to how people speak before you open your mouth. Don't buy something at a store and go "thanks mate" and give a really corny smile. You aren't being witty. Most people say "thanks" or "cheers" in the UK.

4. Go out by yourself, don't run around in groups of 10. If you have to, don't stand in the middle of the fucking sidewalk with a map bigger than your group.

5. They don't go beserk with an 18-year drinking age, so why should you?

6. Read a book on wherever you are going.

7. This is more of a pet peeve than anything else, and one for all the people who have made fun of me mispronouncing stuff. Leicester is pronounced "Lester" not "LyeCHESTER." The same goes for Worcester....

8. Leave behind anything with an American flag on it, baseball caps, and those shorts/sandals combos.


I apologize if I sound snobbish, but these are just some of the annoying things I have observed. Foreigners are guilty of doing the same to us, but not nearly as much, because they have lots of American tv and movies to help them understand their culture.

This is also the reason that I've been telling all of you about these stupid movies you'll probably never see. They are examples of cultures you haven't experienced... and I think you'd really find them worthwhile if you gave them a shot. I'm sorry if you feel otherwise.

Anyway, this is my last night in lonely London. Good night.

There is a newspaper/tabloid in the UK known as The Sun. It is pretty awful, as well as very anti-European. What The Sun is notorious for is its page 3, which, since the beginning of time, has always featured a nude picture. These girls, typically 18-19, have always been known as the Page 3 girls. The share about the same status as Playboy models do in the US.

I was walking through Trafalgar Square yesterday, when I saw there were two page 3 girls(purely by guess, since they were both, um, well-developed, wearing tight shirts with "The Sun" on them, and short short short short shorts... plus some guy pointed at one and said he'd seen her on page 3 before).

Anyway, they were handing out English flags because England was going to play the Swiss tonight, and being photographed by a guy from The Sun with various people. To cut a long story short, I got someone to take a picture of me with them, so I'll post that when I get back to Beverley.



Later yesterday, I saw The Goat or Who is Sylvia?, a play starring Jonathan Pryce. Pryce is a well known actor, and has been in everything from Brazil to Ronin, Tomorrow Never Dies, and Pirates of the Caribbean. In the play he is Martin, a just-turned 50 architect who has reached the pinnacle of success in his career. He also has a loving wife and an adored sun. That day, he tells his best friend a horrible truth: that he is also in love, and having an affair with a goat named Sylvia. All hell breaks loose when the friend tells Martin's wife.

The absurdist play darts back and forth between comedy and tragedy. It is soon obvious that Martin is truly in love with this goat (but also his wife). As time goes by, you begin to empathize with Martin, especially when Stevie, his wife, refuses to understand how he could fall in love with a goat. After a long period of argument and breaking furniture, she looks him in the eye and says: "You have brought me down, and I will bring you down with me," and storms out. What she does to bring him down ends the play in despair, and you feel sadness that comes from a direction you'd never expect.

Tonight I'm seeing Oleanna, a play starring Aaron Eckhart(The Core) and Julia Stiles(10 Things I hate about you).

I'm out wandering the streets at twilight, and London is so lonely when you can't share it with anyone. I've got no pilgrim soul to love.....

Goodnight Matt. Goodnight London.

Stop what are you doing. Get $4.50. Get in your car. Drive to Blockbuster. If you don't have a membership, get one. Rent Capturing the Friedmans, which is probably one of the best documentary films I've ever seen, and possibly the best movie I've seen this year.

Arnold Friedman is a well liked and award-winning teacher in his little Long Island community of Great Neck. He has what appears to be a very happy family with his life Elaine: 3 boys, David, Seth, and Jesse. Both Arnold and David seem to love breaking out with the home video camera, so years and years of the family have been recorded, and are often brought back into the film.

In 1988, when the boys are all adults (the youngest, Jesse, being 18), the Postal Service discovers a child pornography magazine addressed to Arnold Friedman, and when the police search the house, they find it all over the place. Soon after, they learn that Mr. Friedman has been conducting computer classes in the afternoons in his own home, with all of the communities young boys, aged 6-10 or so....

When the police begin to question the computer class boys, they find evidence that Mr. Friedman and his youngest son, Jesse, had been sexually abusing the boys on a regular bases during the class.



The director, Andrew Jarecki, does a wonderful job of completely convincing us of the Friedmans' guilt, but then turning the tables on us, bringing us back and forth to the point where all we know is that we're dealing with a really messed up family. One of the sons, David, actually videotaped the family at home while the trial was pending, and we begin to learn how the Friedman boys gradually turn against their mother, believing that she wasn't supporting Arnold.

Once the director, Jarecki, has us in a state of confusion and uncertainty, he slowly begins to reveal a darker side to Arnold Friedman, a side that certainly makes the audience shiver.

This movie, while not very light topically, is definitely something everyone should see. You come out of it more aware as to what lies beneath what initially appears to be happy, smiling surburbia. Please, go rent it. Rent it over any other movie I've recommended this summer.

First of all, I'm going to go ahead and point out that there is nothing more annoying than having your entire freaking friends page filled up with the same quiz/poll/supermagictakeyourusernameandblowsunshineupyourasswithit on everyone's posts!

I'm going to take a bunch of pictures today. When I came out of my movie last night (see next post), I was on Wardour street, which runs right from Oxford street through Soho, and it was so goddamn beautiful. Everyone was out on the sidewalks; there were lights everwhere... it just looked like a movie set. Since, when you look into my soul, you see a great big void of anti-party, I wasn't really able to connect with my setting... bu twas still able to appreciate it. Because I wasn't able to connect I was able to be the movie camera I wish I had been toting.

Tonight I am going to go see The Goat or Who Is Sylvia? with Jonathan Pryce; afterwards I'll go to Wardour street and take some pictures.

Well, two Sorority girls are sitting behind me, occasionally chattering away in their American accents (note that only the US has the Greek thing going). I'll leave with you with some of their wisdom:

"Is Freshmen with an e or an a?"

"Aw, it's so sweet.."
"What?"
"That she wrote you that message."
"Yeah, but it's kind of weird that she's having an affair, I mean, she says she's finding her true self in it, or something.."

"Allison has invited us to the College Park Bar for her birthday... I don't have any ID anymore."
"Don't worry, I know a guy who has a whole bunch, because he worked for a bar that confiscates them."
"Allinson's a drinker so I KNOW she'll be doing 21 shots!"

"She's so pretty!"
"Where?"
"Right there in the middle of the picture"
"Who IS she? She looks familiar!"
"ALLY Livingston!"
"I should know her!"
"Is she not adorable??"

"Have you seen Troy? I wanna see it again!!"
"Nooo, I wanna see an England movie!"

A cell phone goes off...
"That's Kerri's ring!"

It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking the drag

Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now

He takes off her dress now
Letting me go
I just can't look
It's killing me
And taking control

Just a sample of the lyrics from Mr. Brightside, the latest single by The Killers. It's definately catchy in that same sort of way The Strokes can be catchy. It's definately a song for anyone who's been trying to get the the image of the person they love being with someone else out of their head.

Also a great song, if you can find it online, is Coheed + Cambria's Elf Tower New Mexico, the b-side on the A Favor House Atlantic single. It's much more in the Second Stage Turbine Blade flavor, with Claudio Sanchez pretty much going nuts throughout the song. Great stuff.

I saw my friend Adrianna last night, then went out to a pub with her and her younger brother, and spend half the time taking flack from him about not being familiar with football (in the international sense) and the other half arguing with him about protesting the Iraq war. It certainly was good to have a good argument, especially one that just came to a standstill after a while.

Last night I went to the same Odeon Cinema in London that I twice went to last year. I saw the movie A Japanese Story, which can best be described, perhaps, as the cultural inverse of Lost in Translation.

The setting is the OUTBACK MAAAATE! Sandy is a geologist in her late 30s, played by Toni Collette. At first she seemed an odd actress for this role, because initially you don't find her very beautiful [Collette was the mother in The Sixth Sense, or the mother in About A Boy (the gawky one)]. Her entire company is owned by the Japanese, and the son of the owner is coming to town to tour the mines. The son is Tachibana Hiromitsu, played by a lesser known Japanese bloke (Gotaro Tsunashima).

The two do not hit it off at the start, Hiro finding Sandy to be loud and annoying, and Sandy finding Hiro to be uptight and well, weird... (did you know that in business, the Japanese exchange business cards when they greet and bow?). Sandy doesn't know any Japanese, but Hiro knows enough English to communicate, although he often prefers not to.



Hiro really enjoys Australia, because it is the exact opposite of Japan in terms of population density. He loves the outback, and implores Sandy to take him further. When they get stuck out in the arid desert, 40 kilometers from civilization, the movie takes a turn from the "awkward buddy" movie it initially appears to be. As the two eventually warm up to each other, Sandy grows more beautiful, even if she is a little dominating.

Later on in the movie, a sudden, drastic turn is taken that jars the audience, and brings a whole new meaning to the title. Sandy learns, and adapts, if roughly, to each new situation.

It's quite a beautiful film, one I'd recommend. **** 1/2 stars.

I arrived in London today, but nothing has happened yet, so I'm going to spend this post talking about Caustic Cindex, the electronic project I've been doing on and off for the past 4 or 5 years.

I was happy to learn the other day that if you google "Caustic Cindex" the entire first page of entries, with the exception of one, all involve me. Try it sometime. You'll find the new download page I started with some of my older "singles" and some of the newer songs. You'll also find some sites where my friend Brian, aka Parallax, has remixed my songs; I've remixed some of his as well.

While not convinced at all that I'm any good, and not trying to break out in any sort of way, I have realized that I've written quite a lot of material. If you go to my Clemson site you can ee listings for my first two cds, Never Been There and Dehack, which together make up about 160 minutes worth of music.

Never Been There is more laong the lines of Intelligent Dance Music/Experimental; probably because it was my first attempt at making electronic music. You'll find the melodies to be minimalist and scarce, with more focus on drum machine work. Dehack is more standard Electronica/Experimental, as there is a fair amount of ambience and drone involved. Both cds are heavily influenced by old video game music. You'll often find connections to early 90's shareware games, like Doom and Tyrian.

Right before I left for England, I finished my first mix of a new CC cd. It's much more melodic than the first two; much more like a video game score in my opinion. I should finish the final portion when I get back.

I've also done a remix for a signed artist called Soulchasm. He seems to have fizzled out since, so it's not actually possible to find a copy online, but it was popular for a time on mp3.com.

Well, that's all I have to say about that. Do some downloading, and if you are interested, I can send people all 3 albums on mp3 when I get back to Clemson.

Off to enjoy the London air...