I'm Climbing Up Those Walls Again

What if there was a death of virginity? Imagine, this couple has just finished that very special moment together for the very first time, and suddenly a grim reaper is standing next to the bed!

Girl: Ayieeeee!

Boy: Holy Jesus!

Death: Nothing to worry about folks, I'm just the death of virginity! I've come to take it take it away!

Boy: Strange...

Girl: Run! He's got a scythe!

Boy: Don't worry.. everything is fine! He's just here to take our virginity..

Death: (While checking clipboard) No, just yours.

Boy: What?

Girl: Rick...

Death: (Motioning to boy) I'm just taking yours.

Boy: WHAT?




I've always like the idea of Death being a character, rather than just an image. Terry Pratchett, who writes the Discworld series, always had death as a major character (and even the protagonist in a few books). Death had emotions, made interesting conversation, and liked curry and stroking kittens. Family Guy attempted to give Death personality as well, although it didn't work quite as well, as there are 3 different episodes with different deaths in each one. I think it's a good way of avoiding the thought of real death, which is fine by me!

For the record: Van Helsing is worth a viewing, but is full of enough cheese to feed the entire audience quesadillas!

Gus Van Sant, the director behind Good Will Hunting, has made a high-school shooting movie. While not actually trying to portray Columbine, this movie is Columbine in its distilled form.

The camera almost floats as it follows students around in this minimalist picture. The stereotypes are there, but less obvious than in typical teenage flicks. Sant likes to revisit the same scene from different perspectives, so often you'll spend a few minutes behind a jock, only to find him end up at the same scene you saw before. It would be tedious if every scene didn't look so fabulous. Sant has a way of making everything else blur around the character when you need to focus on his/her face that really makes this film unique.

This isn't the crappy South Carolina high school we all went to, this is a nice New England school. The students just seem to wander the hall, un-harassed by the staff. One of the main characters is shooting pictures for his portfolio, and spends a great deal of his time in the development lab. Other characters are sitting in on a Gay-Straight Alliance meeting. In fact, except for P.E., and a short clip of a physics class, you never really see a lot of kids actually spending time learning (but they do seem to be having a lot of fun).

These kids aren't without their problems though, but it's easy to tell who the culprits will be ahead of time though. Alex, one of the shooters, has that dark glint in his eye, like he's just waiting until it's his turn. After following the kids for a little while, you get a little glimpse of Alex and his friend walking towards the school, decked out almost exactly like the kids from the Columbine shooting.... and then we return to everyday life at the high school, just waiting to return to that moment.

There are a few problems with the movie, the killers (who they try to make as much like the two from Columbine), spend time earlier in the movie playing a first person shooter on their IBM ThinkPad (the same model I own). This upset me, because I never liked to see violence blamed on video games.

Anyway, it's still a damn good movie. It's out now at Blockbuster, so go pick it up sometime, when you're bored.

As for the title, I'd like to note that the Columbine killers never actually wore trench coats on the day of the shooting, but I still had to closet mine for a good year after the killing....


Listening to: 311 - All Mixed Up