Friday, September 24, 2004
Close my eyes and hope that it's a real smooth flight, this time...
The strange puritanical side of my liberal ego took a hit recently. As readers probably know, I try and keep unneeded chemicals out of my system: no alchohol, no drugs, no caffeine, etc.
I lost a small battle last week. Being wary of what goes into my body, I've always tried to avoid caffeine in liquid form. I had bad experiences as a child of fatigue crossing badly with this substance, so I had sworn off it long ago.
Because I don't have the usual kick that so many people take advantage of, despite having decent amounts of sleep in the past, I'm prone to dozing a bit in class. I never give up and put my head down, but often, despite attempting to be attentive and interested, my head will sink just a little and my eyes will drift open and close.
I've put up with it off and on the past few years, accepting that teachers understand things aren't easy, and that I still look ok because I'm actually fighting it, but this year, as my average sleep cycle has decreased by an hour, to about 5 hours a night, I've found myself doing it far too often. Maybe typing about it in a blog is counter productive, but I need to rinse off my brain at the end of a day.
Now I buy a six pack of Starbuck's Moca Frappuchinos a week. Right before my first class of each day I ingest one of these things, to initial dislike and now moderate indifference. The results are mixed. I have a significantly greater but not a garuanteed chance of staying awake in class. When I do stay awake, I'm not usually in a great condition to pay attention. The first day I tried it my vision was blurry, which may or may not have been a result of the caffeine.
My reactions shouldn't vary on a day by day basis, because the body never becomes psyiologically "used" to caffeine (i.e. it has the same kick each and every time). I try to keep to one bottle (98 mg caffeine) a day, for over that I've often readthat caffeine can start doing some bad things. I've worked a good many years to have a nice, strong heart, and don't need to go screwing it up anytime soon.
The potential for irregular heartbeats aside, the psychological affects of caffeine are notable. Except for a semi-nightmare on Monday night, I've ceased to dream, or at least remember that I'm dreaming. That worries me, because I'm usually a pretty vivid and diverse dreamer, and now that's gone.
I'm not comforted by the presence of caffiene at all. It doesn't remove fatigue... it just blocks you from it temporarily. You can feel it outside, waiting for you. It makes evenings like these really strange and lonely, for I almost feel like I'm cut off from the world by this seriously fucked up chemical.
I hate it, but I need it, so it remains with me for the time being.
Some small links on the effects of caffeine:
Your Brain on Frappuccino
http://www.wifr.com/news/features/4/388991.html
I lost a small battle last week. Being wary of what goes into my body, I've always tried to avoid caffeine in liquid form. I had bad experiences as a child of fatigue crossing badly with this substance, so I had sworn off it long ago.
Because I don't have the usual kick that so many people take advantage of, despite having decent amounts of sleep in the past, I'm prone to dozing a bit in class. I never give up and put my head down, but often, despite attempting to be attentive and interested, my head will sink just a little and my eyes will drift open and close.
I've put up with it off and on the past few years, accepting that teachers understand things aren't easy, and that I still look ok because I'm actually fighting it, but this year, as my average sleep cycle has decreased by an hour, to about 5 hours a night, I've found myself doing it far too often. Maybe typing about it in a blog is counter productive, but I need to rinse off my brain at the end of a day.
Now I buy a six pack of Starbuck's Moca Frappuchinos a week. Right before my first class of each day I ingest one of these things, to initial dislike and now moderate indifference. The results are mixed. I have a significantly greater but not a garuanteed chance of staying awake in class. When I do stay awake, I'm not usually in a great condition to pay attention. The first day I tried it my vision was blurry, which may or may not have been a result of the caffeine.
My reactions shouldn't vary on a day by day basis, because the body never becomes psyiologically "used" to caffeine (i.e. it has the same kick each and every time). I try to keep to one bottle (98 mg caffeine) a day, for over that I've often readthat caffeine can start doing some bad things. I've worked a good many years to have a nice, strong heart, and don't need to go screwing it up anytime soon.
The potential for irregular heartbeats aside, the psychological affects of caffeine are notable. Except for a semi-nightmare on Monday night, I've ceased to dream, or at least remember that I'm dreaming. That worries me, because I'm usually a pretty vivid and diverse dreamer, and now that's gone.
I'm not comforted by the presence of caffiene at all. It doesn't remove fatigue... it just blocks you from it temporarily. You can feel it outside, waiting for you. It makes evenings like these really strange and lonely, for I almost feel like I'm cut off from the world by this seriously fucked up chemical.
I hate it, but I need it, so it remains with me for the time being.
Some small links on the effects of caffeine:
Your Brain on Frappuccino
http://www.wifr.com/news/features/4/388991.html
